“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
I always hated marriage seminars. Those events where an annoyingly happy and perfect couple tells you all the things you are doing wrong and how to fix it so you can become blissful and float along on clouds of happiness like they do.
Ok, I’m a bit cynical. But I always left those things feeling worse about myself, and frustrated because I knew I would never be able to live up to the standard they were presenting. It just wasn’t realistic.
I’ve been married over seventeen years now. I’ve learned some things, all of them pretty much the hard way. So I’ll save you the money and self-esteem hit of a marriage seminar and share with you some of the insights I’ve gleaned from the journey. It’s been a long and often difficult path, mostly because I’m a terribly selfish person a lot of the time. But it’s also been the most fulfilling road I’ve ever walked down. Marriage is an institution where you can be known for all of your ugliness and still get to be a part of something beautiful. No other institution can promise that. Not the workplace, not the education system, and, sadly, not even the church. Everywhere else we hide who we really are. In marriage, you can’t hide. That’s terrifying, but it’s also a key to living freely.
How do you get there? It’s a process, but here are 13 things I know…