Agape mornings

It’s my day off.

I’m laying in bed, alone, slowly and casually shaking off the lingering dust of sleep and making my way toward full consciousness. I’m in no hurry to get up. Other days require swifter action and demand immediate attention. But this isn’t one of those days. Today is made for relaxation, for recharging the batteries.

As I lay there, I hear the soft sounds of little feet on the carpet. Through the bedroom door strolls my 8-year old daughter, still in her pajamas. She’s here for one reason and one reason only. She wants to be close to her Daddy. And she knows from experience that this is one of the best times to snuggle. She knows I’m going to take my time getting out of bed.

She crawls up onto the bed and curls up next to me, her head under my arm. I don’t say anything because I’m really self-conscious about morning breath and I don’t want her to run out of the room. For a moment, no words are spoken. We just lay there together, snuggled up in tender and perfect connection.

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What my life has in common with a children’s book

“I missed you even when I was with you. That’s been my problem. I miss what I already have…” – Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 

I miss my son.

He hasn’t gone anywhere. Still lives in my house. Still sleeps in the bedroom right next to mine. Probably spend more time with him than I ever have.

But I miss my son.

When he was younger, we used to read in his bed at night. He would pick out a book and we would go through it together. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein became an early favorite. Over time, we laughed and followed along with wonder and amusement as we read the exploits of Junie B. JonesSkippyjon JonesJudy Moody, and that wimpy kid, Greg Hefley. After the reading, we would “snuggle” and oftentimes I would fall asleep. Some nights I would just stay there until morning. I might wake at some point in the night to the sound of his breathing, see the profile of his face in the shadows of the room, watch his chest move up and down in rhythm with his heartbeat. There’s something about watching your child while they’re sleeping that quiets the soul. But we don’t read anymore before bed. When he lays down for the night, he has his headphones in or he’s reading a sports magazine. He’s too big to lay down with. He’s all legs and noises and weird smells. I go in to tell him good night and that I love him, and sometimes I kiss him on the top of the head. And that’s that.

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The workout

The following is a parable I wrote about the key to getting stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Something we all try to avoid…

Ronnie wasn’t physically strong. It’s not that he didn’t have the desire for it. Of course he wanted to be strong. Who doesn’t? Everyone wants to be strong in some way. But Ronnie worked a desk job, his hobbies involved watching movies, reading, or things you have to put together. And the closest he ever got to the sporting world was his fantasy football team. He wasn’t strong, because he had never really been in an environment that pushed him to get strong.

One day, Ronnie decided he wanted to improve his body. He had always wanted to be in shape, to get fit, but he had never done anything about it. Now, it was finally time to take action, time to make a change for the better.

He was going to get strong.

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